Gordon Van Changes His Name

You like odd things (why else would you be reading this?) Here's one. On this date in 1880 Lily Langtree told Oscar Wilde, "You oughta get a haircut." On this date in 1966 I showed his picture to Grant, my barber, and he said, "He oughta get a haircut. Where'd you get that picture?"

"It came with my wallet," I said.

Then he took out his wallet and said, "All I got was Gale Storm."

"You should shop at classier stores," I said. I liked Grant. He kept my crop in shape for ten years. And I bought some antiques from him too (when I bought them they were just second hand furniture, but they're antiques now.)

In 1966 WQUA was still carrying the White Sox. Here's a fun fact: In 2005 the White Sox won the World Series in four straight games over Houston, and Ozzie Guillen got PO'd when he didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize.

But I was back on all night and happy as a Barrel of Fun winner on 7th Street. A few days after I was back on the Fistfight, Bob Allen, who was just getting over being Gordon Van at KSTT, stopped in at about 1 A.M. He said his wife was having a Tupperware party and threw him out after he belched all the vowels. He said that with all the Tupper-burping going on he just felt left out. I asked how that went over. He said that a snooty lady in the back stood up and claimed she was flabberghasted.

"How colorful," I added.

Not missing a beat, he said, "I don't know if she had gas but she had plenty of flabber." At that point I should have known we'd work together some day!

When the Fistfight had been back for a bit (as punchy as ever), I talked to Jack Pulford at the Wells Fargo about having his acts stop in to have some fun on the air again, and maybe getting a few spots back on. He said Sam, the owner, thought we had lost listeners overnight with me having switched to evenings. That night on the air I was talking about funny hats and that Pulford wore a size 8 6/14ths chapeau. Well Jack and Sam got a lot of reaction to that. So things got back to as normal as they could on the Fistfight. Some time later we had another remote at the Wells Fargo.

A week or so later the management called me in to ask me to stick to the music format more closely (I guess "Spanish Mama and the Calypso Kings" was too much for them.) I said I would, but I figured by 3:30 A.M. they would all be asleep or passed out and I could slip in some Oscar Brown Jr. or Lord Buckley. Pop music at that time seemed to have a family overtone. There was the Mamas and the Papas, The Brothers Four, the Sisters Karamasovs. And the Cousin Its had to cancel their tour (they kept stopping up hotel drains, so they couldn't get rooms.)

One of the things I was stuck with on the all-night show was the five minute Farm Market Report at 5:30 A.M. What a dial turner that was! We didn't have any farmers listening. The only reason it was on was that years earlier when whoever filled out the application for a license saw the question about agricultural programming and he was too chicken to leave it blank. Aha, I thought - chicken! And I had the birth of a notion (that's part D. W. Griffith and part F. W. Woolworth.) I had a tape of dancing chickens, and singing too. I played it in the background while I read the market numbers and added a few comments. Well! It was a big hit with everyone except two Rhode Island Reds who lived in Port Byron. It confused their little chicken noodles. Buddy Holliday the morning man thought it was funny and so did John Dombek.

I just realized that I have gotten some years transposed. Who cares?! At this point they all look the same to me, and so do you! (Only younger!) I hope you all have a healthy and happy New Year!

-Adam Jones
12-31-25